Wednesday, August 10, 2016

letter to Darren Dammy

TODAY I PENNED A LITTLE PERSONAL NOTE TO DISMISSED WEST INDIES CRICKET CAPTAIN,DARREN SAMMY.
DEAR MR SAMMY,
LET ME CONFESS THAT THOUGH YOU KNOW MY BROTHER RONALD HINKSON VERY WELL, YOU AND I  NEVER MEET AND TO TELL THE TRUTH WHEN YOU FIRST BECAME CAPTAIN OF THE WEST INDIES TEAM
I WONDERED OUT LOUD,LORD WHA WE COMING TO NOW, WHO IS THIS YOUNGSTER FROM A COUNTRY THAT NEVER REALLY HAD NO LONG HISTORY IN WEST INDIES CRICKET DAT GOING TO BE DE WEST INDIES CRICKET CAPTAIN?

BUT OVER THE YEARS YOU EARNED MARKET VENDOR’S RESPECT, PITY YOU DIDN’T EARN IT FROM SOME OTHER PEOPLE IN AUTHORITYAS WELL.
DID I HEAR YOU SAY THAT YOU HAD A CALL FROM THE CHAIRMAN OF SELECTORS THAT LASTED ABOUT 30 SECONDS DURING WHICH TIME HE TELL YOU THAT YOU WERE BEING REPLACED AS CAPTAIN OF THE T20 TEAM AND FURTHERMORE THAT YOU DID NOT MERIT A PLACE IN THE T 20 PLAYERS OF 13?

HE MUSTA  TALK REAL FAST CAUSE THAT IS A LOT TO SAY IN 30 SECONDS.IT WOULDA TAKE ME 30 SEOCNDS TO EXCHANGE PLEASANTIRES BUT I GUESS DE CALLER DIDN’T WASTE TIME WID DAT!

IF I HAD KNOWN YOU DARREN, I COULD HAVE WARNED YOU THAT JUST LIKE OTHER CAPTAINS BEFORE YOU,AND SOME GREAT PLAYERS TOO, WHEN DE TIME COME TO BE DUMPED YUH GOING TO BE DUMPED UNCEREMONIOUSLY.

I COULDA  WARN YOU TOO THAT ONCE YOU HAD EXPOSED CERTAIN MATTERS WHEN YOU WON THE T20 WORLD CUP EARLIER DIS YEAR, YOU HAD CROSSED THE RUBICON, THE DYE WAS CAST AND IT WAS ONLY A MATTER OF WHEN,NOT IF YOU WOULD, IN DE WORDS OF DONALD TRUMP, BE FIRED!

THE FACT THAT THE KING IS NAKED DOES NOT PRECLUDE THE KING FROM RULING IMPERIOUSLY FOR HOW DARE A COMMONER SPEAK AGAINST THE KING!

YUH COUNTRY HONOUR YOU BY GIVING THE STADIUM A PROPER NAME,THE DAREEN SAMMY STADIUM,GOD KNOWS SOME AH WE COULDN’T PRONOUNCE DE OTHER NAME ANYHOW AND IN SO DOING YUH COUNTRY GIVE THE LIE TO THE SAYING DAT A MAN IS NOT WITHOUT HONOUR SAVE IN HIS OWN COUNTRY.

IN ANY OTHER COUNTRY A MAN WHO HAD SUCCESSFULLY LEAD THE TEAM RATED AT #8 IN THE CRICKETING NATIONS, NOT ONCE BUT TWICE TO WIN THE COVETED T20 WORLD CUP AND STAND AT THE ZENITH OF DE SPORT WOULDA  BEEN HAILED AS AND CELEBRATED AS A HERO BUT THIS IS WEST INDIES CRICKET.

IN PRIVATE ENTERPRISE, A CEO WHO HAD TAKEN HIS COMPANY AGAINST FORMIDABLE ODDS AND COMPETITION TO DE TOP WOULD BE CELBRATED AND NO PASSING SLUMP IN PERSONAL PERFORMANCE COULD HAVE DETERMINED HIS FATE.

IN PRIVATE ENTERPRISE, A LEADER WHO DELIVERS,EVEN IF ABOUT TO RETIRE GETS A ROUSING SENDOFF AND A GOLDEN HANDSHAKE,NOT A 30 SECOND OR MORE PHONE CALL.HE IS CELEBRATED AND WINED AND DINED.
RESPECT IS 2 WAY, HOW CAN THOSE WHO TREAT YOU WITHOUT RESPECT EXPECT TO GAIN IT FROM THE REST OF WE? EH?
SADLY, ONCE AGAIN WE CARIBBEAN PEOPLE WILL PUT WE TAILS BETWEEN OUR LEGS, RANT AND RAVE FOR A FEW DAYS PUN CALL IN PROGRAMMES BUT THEN AS WE SAY IN TRINIDAD,BOIL DOWN LIKE BAJEE, THEY KNOW THAT AND SO WE LIKE IT SO!
WHEN WE TRULY LEARN DE POWER OF DE PEOPLE THE KING WILL BE DETHRONED BUT UNTIL THEN THE CHARADE GINE CONTINUE.
DARREN SAMMY, YOU ARE ONE OF MY CRICKETING HEROES, YOU ALWAYS LEAD BY EXAMPLE, YOU PLAYED WITH HEART AND GUTS AND DELIVERED FOR THE GUTLESS!
CONTINUE TO HOLD YUH HEAD UP HIGH, IN TIME SOME OF THE NONENTITIES WILL LIKE TOILET PAPER BE FLUSHED INTO OBSCURITY, BUT YOUR NAME GINE FOREVER BE REMEMBERED AS ONE OF THE SHINING LIGHTS ON SOME VERY DARK NIGHTS.

I MARKET VENDOR GONE FUH NOW,YOU HAVE A BLESSED AND A WONDERFUL DAY, YUH HEAR?

Sunday, July 17, 2016

It's Cropover Time

It is July, de month of Cropover and  musicians and singers been coming through Capital Media HD 99.3, RPB, Grynner and King Bubba  came over de past week and regaled de audience wid stories, de music dis year sweet again and de old dog as he calls himself, Grynner ripping up de airwaves wid the monster hit take me down de road.
Pun top of dat Arturo just did a remake which was launched on Capital Media HD last Friday morning, dat remix real bad too and rumour has it dat another big name doing a second remix of the song, definitely one of de favourites fuh de road dis year,well done to de old man of soca, when yuh consider dat Grynner was making hits songs during the time of Prime Minister Tom Adams yuh got to raise yuh hand fuh de ole dog dat he is still mashing up de big show tent 35 years on. Kudos too to the Red Boyz for recognizing this incredible man and his talent, Grynner said dat de Red Boyz told him to hold on, they were looking for the right song for him, FOR FIVE YEARS! They certainly found it this time around, in life timing can be everything.Seven road march titles later and de ole dog still cranking up de speakers.
So much sweet music playing from RPB to King Bubba, Peter Ram,Marvay,Imani, Marvay, Biggie Irie, lil Rick,Iweb,soca Diva Alison Hinds and others.
Cropover, mingled wid CPL cricket and all the premium all inclusive parties and Soca on the Hill and yuh got to wonder when people finding time to actually go to work.
So far this year,things running smooth, no major hiccups to date.
One of de big talking points in Bubbadus is de release from prison of a man convicted of de most heinous murders where he murdered his wife wid a cutlass by almost decapitating her and also killing her 14 year old daughter while his young son escaped by hiding under de bed, people blue vex dat dis man get release back into society after 20odd years in jail.
Should someone like dat ever taste freedom? De whole system seems in trouble and dis trouble didn’t start yesterday, it was years in de making, cases backlogged fuh decades, people waiting fuh hearing fuh years and waiting fuh decisions just as long.
Threatening to sue someone who owe you is a joke cause if them know de system dem could keep you waiting and waiting and waiting fuh years.
Policemen suing de authorities over lack of promotion and promotion methods, de Commissioner of Police suing over being relieved of his job, National Conservation Commission (NCC)workers who get lay off in 2014 win a case against the NCC at the Employment Rights Tribunal, some happy wid de decision,others want more relief and want back their jobs, confusion over de importation of chicken wings wid only one agency the government owned Barbados Agricultural Development Corporation BADMC licensed to import chicken wings yet someone wid a container full of chicken wings manage to get through and weeks later nobody saying publicly who de body is dat import de wings, never mind dem wings did not lift off and get condemned and burned, we still asking, who de body is who bring in de wings?
So while de rest of de world fighting up wid matters like ISIS and terrorism and de USA scrambling  to decide who to pick between Trump and Clinton, we bout here dealing wid heavy matters like chicken wings and whether Cropover costumes too skimpy!

I Market Vendor gone fuh now,you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

Saturday, July 2, 2016

LEAD IN DE PENCIL!

We Bajans too love lil confusion, nuff gossip and we love to hear bout scandal, especially of de man woman kind, dese days man pun man and woman pun woman rivaling fuh we headlines and anything dat involve government, big up people and tiefing does score big pun de gossip network!
Plenty of dese elements did in play dese past few weeks and a number of people, young and middle aged drop dead sudden so and by de start of las week de gossip mill had de talk shows and social media pun fire.
So de story goes dat de unusual number of people leaving dis planet suddenly was related to de new water meters, supposedly due to lead content and apparently dat de said same meters get reject in Canada because dem did not meet de standards of de Canadians.
Conclusion? Lead killing Bajans!
Now fuh years I grow up knowing dat de ole time houses had water pipes mek outa lead, in fact when I buy de lil ole house I got, I had to re-plumb de property and my plumber Mr Ken Bynoe, a boss plumber say market, yuh gine have to tek out dese lead pipes and put in more modern pipes, yuh gine have to lay new pipe!I always found laying new pipe fascinating cause yuh know when yuh put it in, I gine be in fuh a long time!
Growing up I use to think I should be a plumber cause everytime I even look at a young lady or worse yet bring home one I use to get lecture by me mother, she use to warn me bout laying pipe and warn de young ladies too bout lead and pipes! I swear mum did want me to be a plumber! “stay far from dat pipe young lady, if yuh know what is good for yuh!” a not uncommon refrain!
And de food and vitamins mum would serve from shark oil, seamoss, dasheen and farine I was always lead to believe would put lead in de pencil! And as a school boy in knew well dat I needed a long pencil, properly sharpened to do my work wid!
So when I hear dat people deading from lead, de Vendor had to sit up, how come de lead bad fuh we, is it dat we get soft and can no longer handle de lead, why would dis cause people to die, ah mean I have heard people holler out “oh lord ah gine dead” only to realize dat them still well and in good health minutes later!
JoyAnn Haigh had to brek she holiday to come pun de radio and declare dat it was a lie dat lead killng people, a bigger lie dat de water meters get reject from Canada and unsafe fuh Bajans, imagine when poor Miss Haigh should have been enjoying some lead free days she get interrupt to put out a disclaimer” My pipe nor my meter ain’t got no lead!”
And then pun de weekend, de acting chief medical officer Dr.Kenneth George put out a statement showing dat de people did NOT die from lead but from a variety of medical conditions not related to de Barbados Water Authority meters and lead! Imagine dat!
De facts are dat de deaths occurred from heart attacks, strokes, blood clots, brain haemorrhaging and other non-communicable diseases! Yuh think dat gine stop de Bajan rumour mill, yuh got to be joking, just now my phone gine ring and I sure somebody gine start “ Market you hear bout so and so?” we love lil gossip, it does bring some excitement otherwise boring lives, and de more important de person, de sweeter de bad news, currently Mark Maloney is flavor of de month in dat department!
I think it is time fuh me to get back to trying to be a good plumber, practice makes perfect, I got some pipe to lay, my yard irrigation need upgrading!

I Market Vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

Tuesday, June 28, 2016

Want Some Charlie?

There is something special bout Friday nights, hanging out wid friends, chilling wid lil food, shooting de breeze, a drink or two, some jokes to exercise de facial muscles,last Friday night was special, friends from Trinidad and Tobago were in town and some other long time friends just back from a long trip in Europe, they had to have some good stories, they did not disappoint and all I can tell wunnah is dat de madam and I cannot wait to get to Prague and to visit a particular Thai massage salon! De experience is bound to be memorable wid an ending wid a twist! Thanks fuh de laughter ! my TnT friends Glen and Cherry Cheong brought me uptodate on de happenings in TnT, no more stories bout Hilda de housekeeper, I used to look forward to hearing bout Hilda, I gine miss Hilda now she gone! De Trinis wanted to go to Oistins and so we went by my favourite couple, George and Cynthia and our favourite server, Kishan, lobster, Mahi Mahi, shrimp, sword fish grilled to perfection, de best in de world, supported by grilled potatoes, salad and George’s secret sauce, washed down wid Mr Cozier’s best brew! It been awhile since I went by Oistins pun a friday night but Uncle George still got de place rocking, every seat ram off, visitors by de hundreds, music pumping, energy high and though crowded everyone pun de best behavour. Chilling after wid a Deputy, a brethren pass by and in a pseudo American accent asked if I wanted some Charlie, de only thing de Vendor want dat name Charlie would be a Charles chocolate but tonight not even chocolate fuh me, de brethren then explain it wasn’t chocolate he selling, so I work out it must be herb, dat was now a new name fuh me,”I don’t smoke” I tell he but then de explain Charlie is not something yuh smoke! Charlie? What de hell is Charlie? Charlie I then found out was cocaine, I declined and de brethren left, somewhat upset, while hurling some abuse and hitting me wid brassbowls! Poor me, Charlie, is de first time I get offered drugs ever! What de jail is dis!
De next day was my beloved daughter Rebecca’s birthday, Sunday father day and Monday my beautiful first born’s birthday, how blessed can I be!
But sometimes wid de blessings does come showers, deep in sleep, my first off day fuh a week, don’t have to get up at 4 A.M. but round 4.30 de neighbours started what could only be a foreday morning fete by their pool, bass thumping, jumping me outa muh sleep, at first it sounded like somebody drilling de front door! No amount of shouting, getting dressed and going to their gate and hollering, climbing de wall between us at 4.45 A.M. and begging fuh mercy, worked!
Calling de police and appealing fuh help didn’t work either, de music finally ended close to 8.A.M. Right now I thinking bout buying a bull horn and some mega speakers to return de favour one night bout 2.A.M. when everybody asleep next door! How could anyone in a neighbourhood think it is ok to start a party at 4.30 a.m and why is it dat successive governments don’t pay Carl Moore no mind wid he request mek Bubbadus a quieter place?
And isn’t it nice to live so close to such considerate people? All now I writing dis article, I feel like maybe I should look fuh de fella and consider de offer of de Charlie after all!

I Market Vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

I Pulling Out

I went to a glorious cricket match on Friday night thanks to my friends at ICBL, Insurance Corporation of Barbados and what a match it was, de boys in maroon were clinical in demolishing de South Africans, the result was unlikely when de West Indies did tottering pun 21 fuh 4,who would have thought dem coulda get up to nearly 300 runs?
And de bowling was spot on, Gabriel sending down some missles,beating batsmen fuh sheer speed and accuracy too and den my boy Sunil Narine, mesmerizing de fellas who could hardly read he bowling, it was a night to be treasured and savoured.
Suffice to say de West Indies put in everything, there was no pulling out, Darren Bravo delivered an awesome innings and Pollard help to rebuild de innings.Well done West Indies, never mind yuh come up as de bridesmaid in de finals.
Ah wish ah could say de same bout Britain but never in my wildest dream did I believe dat Britain who wanted we to federate in de 60s could come in 2016 and pull out!
Somehow I figure dat just like Scotland de Brits would stay in, occupy de crease and and remain in position.
Despite all de arguments bout dis and dat issue it did seem to me to come down to one or two things in particular, de free access to Britain from other E.U. citizens forgetting dat a couple million Brits does live in E.U.countries too and of course de other big issue did seem to be bout sovereignty! But never ever did I fuh one moment think dat dem did gine pull out, de Brits smarter than dat, dem wouldn’t fall fuh a fella like Donald Trump, a fella dat even look like he name Boris Johnson but wuh loss Miss Parris dog got pups, exactly what ah thought couldn’t happen, happen!
Now I hearing a lotta long talk bout people having regrets, bout dem didn’t realize de extent of de negatives in pulling out, wait, wunnah ignorant or what? How yuh mean wunnah didn’t know, wunnah wasn’t listening to de arguments?
All of a sudden de government in a tailspin, Cameron gine through de eddoes, he job gone, de pound melting faster that a snowcone in de midday sun and all kinds a consequences coming to de fore and some people signing a petition, wanting to have a review or another referendum? Dem mekking mock sport or wha?
Old people got some sayings, yuh mek yuh bed yuh gine lay pun it and we should always be careful what we wish for less we get it!
Who woulda think just last year Cameron get sweep back into power, he large and in charge but he open a pandora’s box and um blow up in he face,now he got to start packing he bags and clear out of Number 10 Downing street.Of course dat woulda never happen bout dese parts, nuh Caribbean leader did gine give up he secure job just because of de results of a referendum, I don’t believe it!
So wunnah wanted back wunnah country and wunnah gine get it back, de Europeans want wunnah to hurry up and hit de exit button, dem want wunnah gone, no dilly dallying, activate de relevant article and get things in motion to withdraw.
I always believe dat when yuh enter yuh should occupy, when yuh in, stay in, do yuh thing, mek sure everybody sharing in de sweetness cause pulling out does leave a sense of being unfulfilled, if de going hard, hold yuh place but yuh don’t give up and yuh certainly don’t pull out.
Check round de world and see wha does happen when yuh pull out, prematurely!

I Market Vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?