Sunday, May 19, 2013

April 27, 2013 - Market Vendor


Dese people messing wid de wrong man, dem know who I really is? my name is Austin “Jack” Warner and dat alone should tell dem something! What’s in a name? Plenty! Austin, you tink is coincidence I name Austin? I have a whole city named after me in Texas, in St.Kitts, a whole park dedicated to me, Warner Park and then we come to “Jack,” yuh tink it easy being named Jack? Eh? Fuh de records, from 2003 to 2007 Jack was de most commonly used male name in England Wales and Northern Ireland, and from 2008 to 2010 number one in Australia! Famous and infamous people have carried de name, Jack de Ripper, still de most mysterious murderer in history, de star of de best tv series of all time, 24, Jack Bauer, even in literature they celebrated my name wid Jack and de Beanstalk! Everybody favourite villain in movies is who? None other than Captain Jack Sparrow, Pirates of the Caribbean.
Look, in music they celebrate me, Percy Mayfield classic Hit the Road Jack and John Cougar Mellemcamp’s Jack and Diane come to mind! One of de greatest presidents of the USA was Jack Kennedy (although ah didn’t like how he end up, eh) and to show dat Jack is a man for all seasons, even in nursery rhymes, Jack and de beanstalk, Jack be nimble, jack sprat, Jack and Jill and even little Jack Homer (ah thought it was horner) try as they might wherever they turn they butt up on Jack! In Bubbadus when people don’t know yuh name they does call yuh Jack, just so,”wha going on Jack?”
But all of a sudden they want to cut Jack down and look who looking to cut Jack down! How many great people you know dat name Keith, it don’t sound right, it does rhyme wid thief! You know any city anywhere name Keith? And worse yet wha bout Rowley, dat rhyme wid rowdy! I doubt you could find a city, not even in India name Kamla or Persaud anything, but de name Jack does loom large anywhere you go! I hearing all de allegations from de alligators but Jack is a big picture man, I was el Jeffe in Concocaf and de number two El Jeffe in FIFA and yes Jack did well fuh heself, wunnah jealous of dat? But Jack help plenty people and spread plenty money, how you feel I could be chairman of UNC which is largely Indo Trini, is my money put me dey! And yes I build a Centre of Excellence, my land, my Centre, is now FIFA wake up and realize them don’t own it?
So I resign, I resign as minister, I resign as chair of de party and I resign as representative of Chaguanas West! They have talk fuh Jack but I will release a Tsunami on dem, ah promise one on FIFA but dat one reverse and ah get ketch in de backwash but dis time tell them Jack talking, Jack stalking, Jack slashing! I might be tie tongue but dat is because my mout lace wid honey, ah not fraid, dem fraid Jack, look I even tell de press last year dat de P.M.’s embrace is de kiss of death! Who in de cabinet could say dat and get away wid it? Only Jack!
If they get me vex ah go run again and win back de said seat I resign, Jack have more to say but ah know de Vendor got limited space!
Lawd, yuh see me Market Vendor, I gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day yuh hear?

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