Sunday, May 19, 2013

March 3, 2013 - Market Vendor


Watching some of de horses at de Sandy Lane gold cup last Saturday it was clear that based pun performance some of dem likely to end up as meatballs in Ikea stores in Europe. Some horses mek to run and some fuh meatballs or so it seem! Eating horse meat is normal in Europe, last year in Italy some friends in Verona tried to get de Vendor to eat some thinly sliced horse meat but everytime I look at de meat I see a Gold Cup horse wid he two feet in de air hollering nee ohh, NO!
Strange dat, cause when I ready fuh piece of beef I don’t see nuf cow mooing and I definately don't hear nuh pig oinking when I see a piece ah ham or some souse, though I does mek it grunt! Same thing wid mutton, I never hear a sheep bleating no fowl cackling when I sit down in front a lamb chop or a rib cage! Strange how yuh mind does play tricks pun yuh! But now we hear dat in addition to horse meat, meat balls and other meat products in South Africa got in Buffalo, goat and Donkey meat! I tell dat to a man who love he meat and he say Heehaw, heehaw, heehaw always suspected dat it wasn’t all beef! But bout hey in de Caribbean, apparently all of we products clear, not a trace of Horse, not a trace of goat and not a trace of donkey, dis assurance come from we top vet Dr.Mark Trotman! Thanks fuh de assurance Doc, you is good man and ah trust yuh but I lil suspicious, wunnah expect me to believe that beef products all over Britain, South Africa, Europe get augmented wid other animal products but none of dat DNA from de other animals get into what we does get bout here? So only de best, de finest does come down to de Caribbean, right? right! De madam does go to Hotel Foods and de truth is she does get de best from dem so I know I in de clear but I can’t speak fuh everybody else! De ole people say dat wha don’t kill does fatten but I got enough fat and need to know wah i eating, it does help to know if to increase yuh prayers before eating! De assurance by Dr.Trotman got me wondering cause anytime yuh got a recall fuh cars de same ting does happen bout here,”oh that don’t apply to us, de cars we order come from a different batch and de problem was already fixed” right? right! we born big but not foolish! De Vendor might go back to seafood fuh a while, just till de scandal clearup, next thing yuh know I calling my buddy house and asking to speak to Baaassiiilll!
And den there id de WICB, poor Clive LLoyd couldn’t find a backer other than de Guyana Cricket Board! What so sweet bout being pun WICB, why after years of less than a stellar performance a man would want to stay, mek up yuh mind Julian Hunte, one minute yuh going next yuh want to stay.It remind me of a fella who get cuss out by he wife, she call he all kinds of canine names and tell he to get out,de man pack he bags and as he going through de door she tell he” I hope you die a slow and painful death”
Hear de man”oh, so now you want me to stay?”
I Market Vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

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