Sunday, June 2, 2013

June 1, 2013 - Market Vendor


In de old days, de forefathers used to save de money under de mattress, today we might as well hide it back under de mattress cause wha yuh does get fuh putting it in de bank is peppercorn, de value going down faster than de lil interest yuh does get. Although, dese days duh got so many vagabonds brekking into yuh house de mattress might not be de best place to keep de money, dat is if yuh got any to keep cause wid dese hard times most people,if dem lucky to have a job, living from paycheck to pay check.
I does get top class service from my bank, helpful, professional and I can speak to a real person not like some others where yuh feel like yuh in a laundry cause yuh doing bare pressing! Press one fuh dis, press two fuh dat and on and on! But ah still waiting fuh somebody to explain why we de consumers must pay interest rates near 20 per cent pun credit cards? Dem ripping off people like loan sharks! It not gine come down by persuasion, Bay street or de Doc in de Tom Adams financial centre gine have to issue some sort of edict!
And if yuh left yuh money in de bank too long it does become dormant! What de hell yuh mean by my money being dormant? I wuk fuh it, I put it there, dem using it to lend to Tom Dick and de government, yet telling me bout dormant? If I did want to spend it yuh don’t tink I would come fuh it? And when yuh hear it dormant, go and get it quick otherwise when dat ad appear in de Nation newspaper and yuh don’t mek a claim, it is goodnight Irene and goodbye money!
Next thing, as a brother of mine ask me “ Market, how come it does tek so long to transfer money or to get access to it?” He does get a lil pension cheque from de Canadian government and every time he deposit de cheque he got to wait 30 to 60 days fuh it to clear, remember dis cheque coming from de Canadian government, not Greece Spain nor Venezuela so what de hell is dat all about, a Canadian bank expecting de Canadian government to bounce a pension cheque? Family overseas send you a lil something, is Xmas before dat cheque can clear. I put a cheque from de biggest insurance company in de Caribbean in de bank, de statement tell me dat while I had a certain amount of money, my AVAILABLE credit did not include de money from de Insurance company, I ask how come dem tell me dat it gine tek a few days to clear! Clear what? Dis is de Olympics, it got to clear hurdles ?
But let yuh current account go into O.D. not OverDose, OverDraft and before you could get off de toilet in de morning some nice sounding lady at de bank calling, not emailing, not texting, not sending a letter but calling to say Sir yuh account is over de limit and we need it brought uptodate IMMEDIATELY! Funny how when it is dem money, dem know how to deal wid de matter promptly but when um is yours, 60 days!
I wish I could give dem a cheque when I in overdraft wid a date pun it 60 days in de future and tell dem duh got to wait fuh it to clear!
I Market vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day,yuh hear.

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