Saturday, July 27, 2013

My Budget notes


Just when we thought matters had reached as bad as they could, de patient tek a turn fuh de worse! Listening and talking bout de economy does raise muh blood pressure, yuh can’t find nuh kind of positive news to hold onto!
It remind me of de doctor who tell a patient dat he gine have to run some tests to establish what wrong wid he, he tell de patient to come back in four days fuh de results, so said, so done. Four days later de patient, sick like dog, arrive drooling and groaning to see de Doc who tell he that he had BAD news and also VERY bad news, which you want first Doc ask, de bad news or de very bad news? De fella tell doc “wuh loss, wha kinda choices dat is, bad news or very bad news? Give me de bad news first and de very bad news last.” Well says doc, de bad news is dat you only got 24 hours to live, de man start to bawl and wail down de place and when he reach some sort of composure he ask Doc, after bad news like dat, what kind of very bad news you could have fuh me? De doc, he voice quivering say “well sir, I should have called you yesterday!”
Yesterday in bubbadus we had an election to win so nobody did gine tell we how bad tings is, how sick we is and dat we only got 24 hours to live, according to de Central bank back den, whichin was only six months ago, we had adequate foreign reserves and most of we debt was local and dis economy was strong. Government was sure dat we was being well managed and Dem promise dat not a fella wukking fuh Dem gine get layoff, we believe Dem, we vote fuh Dem and now Dem telling we dat gine into cardiac arrest and we in Intensive Care Unit? One minute we running like Usain Bolt, de next we pun a gurney headed fuh QEH? Eh? Now I hearing dat WE got a $400 Million deficit and WE got to cut it to stay alive? Leh me be clear, de Vendor ain’t got nuf $400 million deficit, WE ain’t got nuh such deficit,WUNNAH got a deficit but de way how things does run, WUNNAH does run up dese costs but WE does get sick and need nuff bitter medicine to get better. I see a gorriliphant name Mark Maloney writing bout wha WE got to do to save de patient but Mark, i telling yuh dis, when de debt did mounting up and de money was flowing, de Vendor was not sitting at de table, dis Vendor and nuff like me was not eating and getting fat, so how come it is now MY problem, where dis WE come from all of a sudden? I does pay my bills, Mark, plan and budget and iffing I don’t have it I don’t spend it, I does live within my means! In dis country yuh does get cuss if you open yuh mouth and got an opinion dat different to de rest, yuh does get curse by politicians if yuh disagree wid dem, become a enemy of de state because you got an opinion so nuff of wunnah out there does get frighten but not dis Vendor, I does rice by me, not nuh politician so I can speak my mind freely and some of wunnah better learn how to grow testicles and stop serving up pap!
I Market Vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?

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