Monday, November 11, 2013

Report The Positive

Recently prominent businessmen asked politicians to be less negative and focus pun getting Bubbadus out of de economic rut. I wish dem well, somehow I don’t think dat is how de script gine play out, not in politics, not in Bubbadus.

Years ago at CBC a memo came out mandating staff report the positive side of the news, it cause a firestorm dat Claude Graham, Milton Gibbs and company could confirm not because dem is not patriots but because a reporter got to report and call the news as it is.

Today I trying my best to be positive in de hopes that I could mek a difference.

This is Market Vendor reporting for CNN, Corridor News Network.

The Rihanna show will now take place some time in the future, this will provide opportunities for many more people to come and see we girl and ensure that you can buy presents for Xmas since Xmas money did gine to buy tickets.

While it is true that all other economies are growing in the western hemisphere and not Bubbadus, there is no cause for alarm according to Doc Worrell, Bubbadus will grow, just not this year nor next but come 2015 we will be perking again, just before elections.

American Airlines not cancelling their service to New York as reported, what dem really doing is allowing wunnah Bajans to experience two places for the price of one, see Miami and visit friends in New York, all pun de same plane ticket.

Al Barack can expect to be paid sometime in the future, he may not be here to enjoy it but on a positive note, we should observe that interest on the money growing and at this rate he could never spend all the money before he dead so his heirs and successors are guaranteed a good life.

It is not true that there are more people dying through violence, what is true is that more people are going to heaven earlier. In a related story, all positive, Ken Jones musician and undertaker advises Market to let the public know he is pleased with the upsurge in business, so too St.John’s Funeral home and the ever smiling Peter Griffith at Lyndhurst.

And in another related positive news item, dress makers, tailors, flower arrangers and soil technicians(grave diggers) are pleased at the upsurge in business as are neighborhood rum shops who are doing a thriving after funeral business, we celebrate de departed spirits wid liquid spirits!

This past month many employees are no longer working with certain establishments, they have not been fired, the management has simply facilitated their desires to be self employed and have paid dem handsome separation packages thereby contributing to more opportunities fuh people to be self employed and to wuk from home.

Meanwhile the ministry of Transport and the Police sees positive signs in this development resulting in less morning traffic leading to reduction in pollution of the environment.

From bay Street comes the news that in tough times government and opposition coming together, not like de pupils in the class room having sex. GIS reports de P.M. and Mia will share a ride to work in MP2 daily.

Chris and Mia will share a ride home, fully clothed and drinking the new Naked drinks now at all SuperCentre stores.

And finally in today good news report from CNN, in an unprecedented development Burger king, Cheffette and Kentucky Fried Chicken have joined forces in a show of unity to create a new product called the Kentucky Chef Burger, available in one size only,King!

I Market vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?


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