Wednesday, July 9, 2014

BRAZIL'S NEW NATIONAL DRINK.....7UP!

Yesterday the German football machine annihilated de Brazilian dream of lifting de world cup but they not only defeated them, de Germans humiliated de Brazilians in Belo Horizonte!
Following de match these are de new trending stories out of Brazil.
I hear you can pick up tickets cheap cheap for de World Cup finals on sunday, the Brazilians are prepared to barter, one ticket for a roll of Charmain toilet paper!
Brazil has cancelled arms order from US now plans to import missiles from Germany!
Germany's no 1 export is no longer Mercedes, BMWs Audis and VWs it is now goals, the demand for these Germany items is mainly coming from Brazil.The Brazilians can't get enough of them!
Today is a national day of mourning for the death of Brazilian football, they plan to mourn for the next four years at least!
Belo Horizonte is the number one vacation spot for Germans, why, simple, you are guaranteed to score!
There is samba in Brazil, there is coffee in Brazil but there are no goals in Brazil!
There is a new strategic plan for Brazil as a country, it titled”How to score goals”
Germany has now claimed Brazil as a new colony and in celebration of its new status,Brazil will declare a new holiday where they celebrate Germany’s independence, sing the German national anthem, play football and try to score goals!
Brazil’s explanation for the horrible beating” we the team have converted to Islam and as this is the month of Ramadan we were fasting so we couldn’t score, it was a fast!”
Barbados has decided to import solid waste from Brazil for de new solid waste plant, the Brazilians eager to get started and as and act of good faith are starting by sending their football team for de solid waste plant! People say its de fastest decision de P.M.ever make!
The Brazilian football team is thinking of twinning with the W.I.cricket team!
I am reliably informed dat de Director of Public Prosecutions in Brazil is planning on bringing charges against Scolari and his team, the main charge is, impersonating a Brazilian football team.He is facing a major hurdle as he cannot find an impartial jury and says he may have to move the case to Berlin or Bonn! The problem is dat in Berlin and Bonn they want to make the Brazilains national heroes!
A new maximum security section is being built at the prison in Rio,to house these players lest they escape and again commit fraud by impersonating a football team!Brazil wanted a miracle but instead they got a Merkel!
Further, the government has now banned the importation of Miracle Whip products.
Brazil is renowned for its rums but there is now a new national drink of Brazil,its.......7UP!

I Market Vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day,yuh hear!


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