Monday, May 4, 2015

De Simple Life

Today is part one of the simple life! Sometimes we does seek complicated and expensive solutions to nagging problems when in fact we got simple answers dat would solve matters.
Years ago de Vendor had an Austin car, de bench seat at de front did want fixing, call in de upholsterer, problem? De car wukking, I had to get to work, children to school but no  driver seat, no money to rent a car. Sitting pun de patio at 103, 6th Ave Wanstead Terrace, looking at de car and den de living room, de solution came to mind, tek a single seat padded chair from de living room, unscrew de legs and maneuver it into de driver’s spot, bingo, a little rocking everytime yuh move off but at least I could get to de Pine and all I had to put up wid was my colleagues standing at de front door holding duh belly and laughing!
One time after a night of liming wid my lifelong friend Harry Roberts de boys wake up in 6th Ave Belleville to de smell of what turned out to be a rabbit stew dat de housekeeper, nickname Goatie, had cooked, I never ever had rabbit stew before and after polishing off my share and somebody else’s I was hooked. Problem? I couldn’t just turn up at Uncle Eddie and Auntie Rhona’s house every day and expect dat Goatie woulda have rabbit stew fuh de Vendor, solution, start keeping rabbits de next day, literally, it wasn’t a happy ending though as my mother Muriel was not about to cook no rabbit for her first born, no matter how much undying love she had fuh him, she say it look like a feotus, not being a gynecologist I wouldn’t have know and my culinary skills were limited to putting ham, eggs, bacon, cheese, sausage, more ham, more cheese in between a hot salt bread from Ma Blanc Bakery, exit rabbit stew, years later wid Shida  Bolai and family in Cuba, one Jonathon Bolai decide one night to try Cuban rabbit stew, de growing boy(remind me of myself at 15) nearly eat de plate so de next night de Vendor and rabbit stew were reunited, thank yuh Goatie fuh introducing me to a gastronomic treat dat not even my friend Randy Wilkie at Sandy Lane could replicate!
In St.Lucia one time as a teenager I met a Lucian chick who had my head offset and truth be told I was ready to take up my citizenship through my Lucian mother immediately, time was passing fast to get back to Presentation College but de lass had my head tieup, solution, simple, deliberately miss de flight, next available one was a week later, yeah I had to face headmaster Brother Noel, he didn’t like me and I return de favour 300 fold, I tell he de truth and all I could tell yuh was dat he did drinking nuff water as I explain de finer points of percolation! I nearly get expel!
We facing some problems at de national level, everybody want quick fixes and to get back to de good old days, so today I trying to help wid some simple answers to recurring problems.
Beach cleanups. Don’t work, we is a nasty people, solution? We got to change habits, educate de young ones and put garbage bins all over de beach fuh de rest of we and clear de bins every day.
De Mini bus problem, I said it before, don’t bring dem before de court, drivers wid over 100 convictions driving buses, when dem brek de law, mek dem and de passengers drive to de nearest Police station and park it fuh 3 days, hurt everybody, driver, owner, passengers, not complicated at all, try it, I see a minister talking like de Vendor so maybe it coming soon, meanwhile,
I market vendor gone fuh now, you have a blessed and a wonderful day, yuh hear?


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